Here’s to you, mattress store marketers!

Posted by You Sir on Jun 28, 2010 in Featured, Here's to you Sir! | 0 comments

Is it hot enough for ya?  I mean seriously, it’s hot outside.  All the time.  It’s been at or near 90 degrees for at least a week and it’s only the first week of summer.  This is ridiculous.  I’m a relatively healthy, almost still kinda young guy, and this heat is unbearable (the terms “healthy” and “young” are used very loosely in this instance). If I’m unable to function in this kind of weather, I wonder how other people are doing.  Kids don’t seem that effected by it.  I still see people running and walking and enjoying outdoor exercise.  And that 90 year old man holding the advertising sign board on the side of the road seems to be doing just fine. Wait….what? According to my most trusted weather forecasting website it was 91 degrees this past Saturday.  As I was driving into town at around 12:30pm I pass an incredibly old man standing on the side of the road holding a sign advertising the one day sale of a...Read More

Here’s to you, gas station attendant!

Posted by You Sir on Jun 21, 2010 in Featured, Here's to you Sir! | 1 comment

You know those scenes in movies where the guy is on a date or has a big important business meeting at some fancy restaurant and when he tries to pay his card gets declined?  The waiter always approaches awkwardly, pulls the gentleman aside and tactfully informs him that “there must be something wrong with our system, but your card has been declined.”  They never actually come right out and tell the guy, “hey, you’re broke and can’t afford to pay for this.”  That’s excellent customer service.  I know someone who could use a lesson in that. I had pulled up to the gas station at a Kroger near my office because my truck was literally running on fumes.  It was fairly busy and I had taken the last available gas pump.  I inserted my debit card, as instructed, and immediately received a “See Attendant” message on the screen.  Odd.  Before I could even put my card back into my wallet, the attendant, sitting in her little glass box,...Read More

Here’s to you, Mr. Comb Over!

Posted by You Sir on Jun 18, 2010 in Featured, Here's to you Sir! | 1 comment

On the way to lunch this past Wednesday we were stopped at a light next to a guy in a convertible.  I’ll call him John.  John was at least 55 years old, was wearing a cut-off sleeveless t-shirt, and had what looked like a strip of one of the sleeves tied around his head like a head band, totally Rambo style. At first glance I assumed several things about John: A.  John is probably in transit to or from a place where he exercises, like a gym, or a park, or the middle of the woods where he is being hunted by the US Army. B.  He wears a headband during the aforementioned activities to keep sweat and blood off of his face, and to make himself look way more awesome than he already does.  This is something that I, myself, have been known to do. C.  His convertible sedan with a vanity plate was probably a mid-life crisis related purchase and is definitely not the best choice when trying to evade capture from an Army special forces team. He looked like this, but way less...Read More

Here’s to you, shuffleboard pro!

Posted by You Sir on Jun 9, 2010 in Featured, Here's to you Sir! | 4 comments

Have you ever been to Twain’s in Decatur?  It’s awesome.  It’s a great bar, good food, they brew their own beer, and they have games.  Yes please.  They have pool tables, dart boards, video games, foosball, that super fun old-school ice hockey game and, most importantly, shuffleboard tables.  What?  You’ve never played?  You, friend, are missing out.  Somehow, they take something that only old people do in Florida and on cruises, move it indoors, place it in close proximity to a bar and BOOM!…it’s awesome. On one of my more recent trips to Twain’s the usually crowded shuffleboard tables were available, so my friends and I decided to play.  I walk up to our table and the rather attractive blonde at the adjacent table notices I’m about to start playing.  She saunters over to me, almost resting her hip against mine.  She looks up at me and says, “Do you play shuffleboard often?”  What?  Is this girl hitting on me? ...Read More

Here’s to you, pointless landscaper!

Posted by You Sir on Jun 4, 2010 in Featured, Here's to you Sir! | 0 comments

This is a picture of a house on my street.  You’ll notice a few things about this house: 1.  Half of the house is missing. 2.  There’s a little yellow piece of paper on the door declaring the house uninhabitable, unsafe,  and therefore condemned (it’s pretty small but you’ll have to take my word for it). 3.  The yard is immaculately manicured. Almost two years ago a very very very large tree came crashing down on this house in the middle of the night.  Miraculously, no one was hurt, but the house was no longer safe for the family to continue living there and they were forced to move.  So for two years this half of a house has sat wide open, protected only by that blue tarp.  And at least once every two weeks, the guy that used to live in this half of a house comes and cuts the grass, trims the bushes, picks up limbs, and does overall lawn maintenance on this abandoned, condemned property that he will probably never live in again.  Mind boggling. I...Read More