Here’s to you, mama bears!

Posted by You Sir on May 19, 2010 in Here's to you Sir! | 2 comments

Being the big fat fatty that I am (see Here’s to you, Dante!), I eat my fair share of meals at all you can eat buffets.  I’m no stranger to the pizza buffet and can put away some Chinese food, but I also end up at some slightly more exotic locations.  There is a Persian buffet near our office that has made the rotation of workday lunch spots, but after our last visit, I don’t know that it’s staying on that list. Let me set the scene.  It’s dark, very dark, and everything is covered with a rug.  Seriously.  Walls, booths, floor, stage, everything.  The exposed wooden table tops are the only things not covered with a rug.  They have big pillow lined areas for large parties if you want to sit on the floor, eat some delicious kabobs, smoke a hookah, and enjoy some belly dancers in the evenings.  At lunch, however, the place is pretty desolate.  The buffet is somewhat limited and doesn’t offer much variety.  But one thing they do have is very...Read More

Here’s to you, security camera!

Posted by You Sir on May 18, 2010 in Featured, Here's to you Sir!, Inanimate Objects | 5 comments

It’s the summer after my freshman year of college.  I’m 19 years old and invincible.  Or so I thought.  I’m standing in line to buy gas at a gas station near my house.  There’s a surprisingly slow moving line.  Someone is having the cashier check their lottery tickets and cashing out their winnings.  Nothing impressive.  As I’m waiting I notice the security monitor behind the cashier as it switches between several different cameras placed around the convenience store.  One outside showing the pumps, another on the entrance, a third filming the beer cooler, and a fourth and final camera recording the customers in line.  The camera is placed behind me, over my right shoulder, somewhere on the opposite wall. The monitor moves through its standard cycle and comes once again to the customers in line.  As I watch, I notice a guy that looks a lot like me; same shirt, same pants, but with a big bald spot on the back of his head. My immediate reaction...Read More

Here’s to you, relationship counselor!

Posted by You Sir on May 17, 2010 in Conversations overheard, Featured, Here's to you Sir! | 0 comments

There are many places you can choose to be at 2am on a Friday night.  Your bed might be one of them.  The disgusting restroom of a dive bar is probably not.  Unfortunately for my tiny bladder, I spend a lot of time in bar bathrooms, and Friday night was no exception.  Luckily, I had two guys to entertain me as I waited in line. The bathroom should have had 2 urinals and 1 stall.  One urinal was completely ripped off the wall, the other wrapped with a trash bag and tape with a handwritten “out of order” sign on top.  That left only the single stall for all male patrons to use.  I walked in to find one guy standing (staggering) in the middle of the bathroom and one guy in the stall.  I couldn’t figure out if the staggering guy was waiting in line or just talking to the guy in the stall, so I waited by the door.  It soon became apparent they were simply engaged in a very deep conversation.  Relationships.  Women.  Go figure…. Apparently staggering guy...Read More

Here’s to you, postal customer!

Posted by You Sir on May 13, 2010 in Featured, Here's to you Sir! | 2 comments

Stories about bad customer service at the post office are a little cliched.  Stories about long lines at the post office are more cliched.  This will not be a story about waiting in a long line at the post office.  Well, it kinda will.  It was about three years ago.  I think it was November.  I had a large envelope that I needed to ship to a friend in Savannah so I decide to go to the post office on my lunch hour.  There was a line.  There’s always a line. No more than 15 seconds into my wait a man comes in and stands in line behind me.  This man turns out to be the most annoying man on Earth.  He talks to everyone, about everything.  Being directly in front of him, I am the target of a majority of his conversation.  Yes, it’s cold outside.  Yes, there’s a long line.  Yes, I too am mailing something.  Thank you for complimenting my jacket.  No, I don’t remember where I got my shoes. No, I haven’t eaten lunch either.  Yes, gas prices are...Read More

Here’s to you, Dante!

Posted by You Sir on May 13, 2010 in Featured, Here's to you Sir! | 0 comments

A few years ago, a small group of friends and I decided to get a little dressed up and go to the famous Dante’s Down the Hatch fondue restaurant in Buckhead.  It’s an Atlanta landmark.  It’s a nautically themed restaurant with a ship inside of it which you can eat on.  It has alligators in the moat.  It has live jazz.  It has scalding hot pots of boiling oil on your table which somehow translates into a romantic atmosphere.  Most importantly, though, it has an incredibly insulting staff. Even as we were being seated I knew this was going to turn into quite a magical night.  There were five of us.  Myself, my girlfriend at the time, her roommate, her sister, and her sister’s boyfriend.  Five people.  They seat us at a table that was really only big enough for two people, but with two chairs crammed onto each side and an extra chair on the end.  Normally this wouldn’t be an issue, but the fact that this table was located on the very narrow balcony section of the...Read More