Here’s to you, Wednesday!

Posted by You Sir on Jul 19, 2010 in Featured, Here's to you Sir! | 1 comment

Some of you have already heard me tell this story, but last Wednesday was one of the strangest days I’ve had in a long time.  I hesitated to make this a blog post, but the entire day itself was so weird it had to be documented as proof positive I have some of the strangest encounters with people.

It started on my commute to work (of job #1, as I currently have 2 jobs).  As I’m driving through the normally very empty downtown Roswell I see what, from a distance, looks like someone pushing a very large baby stroller down the sidewalk.  Nothing to be concerned with here.  Until I get closer and realize that it’s not a baby stroller, it’s a rolling hospital bed.  And there’s not a baby in it, but a very old woman.  In fact, this woman is so old, that I’m pretty sure she’s dead.  I’m not joking or using this term as hyperbole, the woman had her eyes closed, was slightly curled into a fetal-type position, had a  bluish-gray color to her and possessed an overall lifeless look.  That lady was dead.  And she was being carted down the sidewalk of downtown Roswell totally uncovered.  There was a man in his early 30’s pushing her, a younger woman next to him who looked like she was crying, and an older woman, probably the man’s mother, on his right.  Both had their inside arms on the man’s shoulder.  They were pushing their dead grandmother down the sidewalk.  I’m going to retype that sentence to really let it sink in.  They were pushing their dead grandmother down the sidewalk.

But where were they coming from and where were they going?  As far as I know, there’s no hospital, no nursing home, no assisted living, no hospice center, or no funeral home anywhere in the area.  What the crap?  I spent the next half of a mile looking in my rear view mirror trying to figure out what I had just seen.  Needless to say, seeing a dead lady on the way to work is not a great way to start your day.  And it only got weirder.

Later that day, at my second job (at one of the world’s largest purveyors of fine coffee) I had a very strange encounter with a customer.  She was a middle aged black woman with short, spiky, silver hair.  For her age, she was very attractive, and if I were a middle aged black man I probably would have been interested in this woman.  However, I am neither.  Moving on.  She came in and was playfully flirtatious with me.  She ordered a drink for herself, the man she was with, and another woman who was outside at a table.  She payed by credit card.  As I returned her credit card she took hold of it between her thumb and index finger and with her three remaining fingers, she tickled the palm of my hand.  Yep.  The old palm tickle.  Get’s ‘em every time….

I think she was a bit shocked at how quickly I removed my hand from hers.  She made sure to reinforce her affection throughout her visit.  Anytime she needed something she would come directly to me, refer to me as handsome, and always make some flirtatious remark upon exiting.  I wasn’t really bothered by her actions but more surprised by the awkward forwardness of them.  However, later in the evening, I wasn’t so lucky.

We were about to close and a group of four women came into the store.  They looked to be students as they all had laptops, books, and notebooks, which they immediately spread out on a table.  One of them ordered a drink.  As I gave her the beverage, she picked it up, started to turn, stopped, turned back to me, and said, “Why are you so sweaty, it’s not that hot in here?”  Excuse me?  I was so blindsided by her question that I didn’t really know what to do.  I stumbled to reply, “uh, well, I guess it’s because the coffee makers and espresso machines put off a lot of heat back here.”  She accepted that answer, turned, and went back to her table.  I immediately walked to my fellow coworkers and asked them if I looked at all sweaty, to which they both replied “no.”  What the heck?  A) Why the crap do you think I look sweaty?  And B) who actually says that to someone?  Unbelievable.

I went to the restroom, washed my face and head with a wet paper towel, thoroughly dried off, then walked directly to their table where, by this time, they were very well settled in for some serious studying.  I took great pleasure in letting them know that, oh, I’m sorry, we’re going to be closing in 10 minutes, so you’ll have to pack up all your computers, and books, and notebooks, and papers, and all the food you brought from home, and the one drink you bought from us, and take this study group somewhere else.

So, here’s to you, Wednesday.  Just when I think I’m running out of material for this blog, you give me these three little gems.  It’s days like this remind me why I started this thing.

Shameless Plug:  I know a lot of you have told us “oh, I totally have a story I need to submit,” but ya know what….my inbox is still empty.  Come on folks, send in those stories.  I think a few of you even have photos to go with your stories.  We want to hear your stories so send them in on the submissions page.